Good night, sweetheart

Christmas trees come with roots in Italy, and mine, by some miracle of the Evergreen, is still alive on the balcony and sprouting new buds despite the merciless winds of winter. This discovery of unexpected spring in February is my fatto bello della settimana …

The man who knows the meanings

If I had an analyst, she would probably tell me that my very first visit to what Italians call il commercialista has something to do with turning 37 and the need to become a more responsible citizen. Luckily, I don't have an analyst. People …

Fifty weeks to find it

On New Year's, Italians will tell you that fertility and marital devotion are a consequence of eating the ruby seeds of a pomegranate. And if your money belt is too short for buckling both sides of the month together, fear not. …

The bread and cheese controversy

The friendly rules of party etiquette forbid the rabid discussion of religion and politics, whose fanning flags risk turning the centerpiece candle into …

A Duel

Massimo has nervous legs and a mind that keeps the future up at night. Find his face in the crowd and you'll know him-his eyes always follow, his mouth often leads. Mothers and nuns know to avoid him and schoolteachers sense …

Where love is money

‘Florentine women are trained to be indecipherable-what you don't know, they say, will ultimately charm you,' Paola told us. Broad grins are a sign of weakness and easy-to-read ladies from overseas are often perceived as too loose in their likings. In …

Violets

Whenever Marco ends up in an article it means he's in trouble. Or that I am. But we love each other deeply, and I say this to preface the story and save readers the worry that I'll be fired for bad-mouthing the publisher. Marco …

Shoulder talk

Spalla-the word for ‘shoulder'-is the term Italians use to describe the ‘straight man' of a comedy routine duo. Front-and-center comedians need a straight man to act as a sounding board for their frequent one-liners.   Writers intent on understanding the ways of this world need something similar.When …

Cats who copy

Dusty chalk is free for all who can stand to use it, but safe electrical plugs and screws tight enough to keep the chairs from losing their seats are not entirely guaranteed. Nonetheless, the principal of the commerce-inspired high school where I've just been hired …

Una bella litigata

From the window of my front room, one can watch the whole world wander by, but you don't even have to get near the sill to know exactly what's being told in the piazza below. No shutter can shut out the hullabaloo of everyone …

Class acts

Italians fear inspections the same way naughty blackbirds fear a sentinel scarecrow. And from the way they nervously flit and hop while blatantly breaking the field's best rules, you'd think the whole country was in dire risk of being swiftly stuffed …

Claiming the continent

Years ago, the Italian press published a controversial study that claimed one should enjoy ice cream only in wintertime, as June sorbets risked freezing summer-hot intestines. I remember that day vividly. It was soon after New Year's, so I far from …

Facts of the matter

Pietro's soccer team is right-wing and his politics are left-wing, which, in Italy, makes him a rarity good enough to stuff and keep in the Natural History Museum, next to the anatomical wax models. He would fit in fine there in …

Relativity

Filippo knows Italy via its waterways and travels more in a month’s time than most Italians do in the course of their lifetimes. We’ll sometimes drive to the source of a river to see its flow before he races, and once …

Spy Game

Every Sunday morning, a foursome of ladies in their eighties comes to squawk beneath my windowsill as if they were seagulls looking for bread. Actually, only two are seagulls. The other two flit rather than swoop-and to be fair, their comments sound much more …