Love under the Tuscan sun

Love under the Tuscan sun

In a world in which divorce rates are rocketing higher than ever and finding love can feel like a losing battle, living the expat life in Florence has given me renewed hope in amore. Almost the first question you ask any expat living here is, ‘So, why Florence?' And

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Thu 14 Feb 2013 1:00 AM

In a world in which divorce rates are rocketing higher than ever and finding love can feel like a losing battle, living the expat life in Florence has given me renewed hope in amore. Almost the first question you ask any expat living here is, ‘So, why Florence?’ And the answer, almost invariably, is ‘Love.’

 

Many expatriates in Florence and Tuscany who have settled here permanently have done so for love of an Italian. Maybe it’s the romance of the history-filled Renaissance streets, the lilting notes of the Italian language, or the lure of vintage Vespas:  it seems that a great many foreigners find love in Tuscany every year.

 

Many of them meet the loves of their lives while studying abroad here during college, although, as Georgette Jupe testifies, ‘these experiences are not necessarily the “reaching for the same local herbs at the Sant’Ambrogio market” story that one might imagine when picturing love in Italy.’ Her love affair with Tommaso began ‘with me in a short, pink, pleated skirt and high-heeled “pleather” boots at an awkward 80s American student party that somehow attracted a local.’ Leaving the stereotype of Tuscan love even further behind, Gina Baxter met Francesco ‘over a plate of cheesy fries.’ In a crowded bar on via de’ Benci, she waited for her order, ‘doodling a moustache on my finger to pass the time. I looked up to see a tall, dark-haired waiter curiously watching our table. Holding up my moustachioed finger to my lip, I gave him a nod and he laughed, walking over to our table with a big plate of gooey French fries.’

 

Suzanne Myers’s love story ‘is one that has happened a thousand times before: a guy and gal meet at a bar. Only, our story happened twice.’ Having rejected a cute, nerdy Italian who chatted her up in a bar while she was studying abroad in Florence, only to regret it for the rest of the semester, she found herself face to face with him in another bar five years later. ‘The second time, I didn’t reject him, and we’ve been together ever since.’

 

Shannon Fioravanti’s story, however, does have a touch of real Tuscan romance: she met Edoardo thanks to a bottle of Tuscan wine-Il Poggio, from Castello di Monsanto-when he, the owner of a wine bar, sent it to the new manager of a local hotel, Shannon’s brother-in-law. Shannon and Edoardo were recently married in Castello di Monsanto, the provenance of the wine that prompted their meeting. You can’t get much more romantic than that!

 

The fact that love can survive across different cultures-and even different continents-is what gives hope to anyone still on the search. Moving to a foreign country, overcoming linguistic and communication challenges and adapting to different families, foods and customs ensure that Italian-expat relationships are never plain sailing.

 

Among the challenges for Michelle Tarnopolsky were ‘having to teach Andrea how to do his own laundry or convincing him to try sushi,’ while for Ashton Walters ‘the issues of where to live and whose family to spend what holidays with, and even more serious things like where to raise kids if we have them … have caused more than a few quarrels.’

 

Italian mothers-in-law are notorious, and Georgette Jupe has a host of stories of trying to get along with an ‘overzealous Italian colonel, otherwise known as mamma. Her strange knack for ironing underwear and her love of the Italian phrase, moglie e buoi dei paesi tuoi (“Get wives and oxen from your own town”) ruffled my feathers in the beginning. Luckily for Tommaso, I grew to accept la mamma, and by living with his parents for a period, I can now speak Italian sprinkled with some slang, and I have grown to love foods like anchovies and ribollita.’

 

Language difficulties result in numerous ‘lost-in-translation’ moments for Italian-expat relationships. Getting excited about engagement rings, Katherine White said to her partner Giorgio, ‘Oggi, ho visto un agnello bellissimo!’ . ‘Oh that’s great, tesoro,’ he replied, ‘But why do you need a lamb?’ After initially struggling with the language barrier themselves, his parents are now learning English and hers, Italian, to be able to communicate with each other.

 

While cross-cultural relationships have their inevitable challenges, they also come with a host of new, eye-opening experiences. Through her relationship with Antonio, Ashton Walters has discovered ‘new dishes, new customs, southern Italian hospitality, the beautiful countryside, the history, and I have been able to show him so many things, as well. We celebrated Thanksgiving here (his first) and I took him up his first skyscraper last year.’ Michelle Tarnopolsky discovered the unswerving romanticism of Italians-‘Sei un raggio di sole in un giorno di pioggia …’-while Katherine White was introduced to bistecca alla fiorentina on her first date with Giorgio: ‘I think it may have been a test to see how I’d cope with eating steak that was still mooing, but he hadn’t bet on me being a foodie.’

 

But despite the differences in food, habits and upbringing, true love did blossom in all of these relationships. As Georgette Jupe says, ‘What is startling to me is how you can truly have more in common with someone who was born a world away than someone from your home country.’ In Gina Baxter’s words, ‘Sometimes cheesy fries and cappuccinos are the perfect combination.’

 

‘I would definitely recommend Tuscany as the place to fall in love,’ says Michele Karlsson, who met her future husband, Leif, from Sweden, here in 2009. While many love stories do begin here, Florence is also a popular place to tie the knot. More stunning locations than ever are now available for civil ceremonies, including the Salone de’ Cinquecento or Sala di Lorenzo in Palazzo Vecchio, Villa Bardini and Florence’s Rose Garden.

 

‘All you need is love’ they say, and the expats living in Florence who have crossed cultural and national borders for love are testament to this.

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