My real name is Anne-Marie Petty-FitzMaurice Bouvier, but everybody calls me La Caldaia.
While it is la verità that I am an inanimate object, even a boiler has memories worthy of a memoir.
Were I to possess a passport, North Yorkshire would be stated as my place of birth, although my home country was substituted for Florence, Italy at the earliest opportunity. It was 1995 when I was installed in the Renaissance capital, since which date I have resided in amiable quarters near the Duomo. Countless lives have enjoyed my comforts over the course of a 21-year career: young ladies, families and students. I have listened to their problems, helped them to unwind, but above all I have serviced them with the warmest of waters. La Caldaia is my official title because “unpaid therapist” has not yet been regarded as a proper profession.
It was 1996 when a delightful family moved into my abode. Riccardo was a devoted father and a perfect husband, while Anna Maria was a wonderful mother—it is no coincidence that she and I share the same name. Vittorio was the elder brother—he used to flex his arms prior to showering, desperately seeking muscles. Beautiful, long, blonde-haired Paola was Vittorio’s sister. She was the smart one of the family, though she used to sit weeping excessively for her boyfriend Lapo on the bathroom floor. Love hurts, tesoro. It’s why I decided to stay “fabulously single” like that Carrie Bradshaw character. Those were the days when I would practise my Italian, and even picked up some toscano, in order to fare due chiacchiere with my colleague, Signor Indesit the Dishwasher.