Pros and cons of the Italian “bagno”

Pros and cons of the Italian “bagno”

Snippets from a lively lunchtime conversation at The Florentine

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Fri 28 Jun 2024 10:25 AM

To my surprise, my colleagues are not exactly diehard bagno enthusiasts. As a freckled Englishwoman, my aversion to the beach has its own root causes. My fellow office workers, however, have their reasons for disliking the beach establishments that make a living (read: killing) every summer along the country’s coastline. Here are a few (publishable) snippets from a lively lunchtime conversation in via dei Banchi 4.

Life at the Italian “bagno”. Ph. @marcobadiani

Bagni have become a place where people can have their Amazon parcels delivered,” begins G (aged 50), vehemently against the Italian beach establishment concept. “Everyone’s there under their ombrellino placing orders on their mobile phones…If you go to an upscale bagno, all the clients are elderly and they don’t tolerate kids. If you go to a family-oriented bagno, the kids rule the roost…Everything’s overpriced, obviously.”

He carries on his rant. (I’m loath to stop him.) “If you get there late, there’s no space left in the car park, which should be one of the advantages.”  

“It’s always full of the same people,” gushes M (54). “The longer you’re a customer at the same bagno, the closer you move to the sea. Someone I know didn’t go one year and he lost three positions. But you know how you really move forward a position…” “When someone pops their clogs,” interjects G. They laugh. At least a bit of bagno banter is causing some prandial merriment. 

The guys have made a wise observation. The lack of turnover, albeit in reference to the longevity of the business owners running the bagni, caused a contentious legal battle between Italy and the European Commission, whose “Bolkestein” directive calls for equal opportunities among nationalities, among other aspects. The issue with il bel Paese’s beach concession practices was eventually resolved in May when the Italian Council of State ordered the country to introduce proper tendering procedures. (I include this here because one of my co-workers urged me to do so during our chat. “You should really be writing about the concessioni.”) 

The bibliophile wanted his say. “What always amazed me when I used to go to my bagno were the people who turned up in the morning and never stopped talking all day long,” remarks O (54). “I just wanted to read my book.”

“Talking about activities, how do you play cards at the bagno? You put the sun lounger in the middle and chairs all around. Often they’ll poach the chairs from the ombrellone next to you, and then they have the cheek to moan when you tell them not to!”

“I used to go when the kids were young because it was convenient,” adds L, a voice of reason. “For families and people of a certain age, it’s definitely got its comforts,” M chimes in. “It depends on where you go and whether you have a second home by the sea,” says P (28). “For example, in Versilia, a bagno is the only option. There are very few public beaches, while the Costa degli Etruschi is the opposite.” 

“I’m pro-bagno,” explains A (48). “I don’t like carrying all my stuff every time I go to the beach. But my one condition is that it has to be music-free. There’s nothing worse than those summer songs that keep playing over and over at the bar.”  

“What gets me are the people who swim in the pool at the bagno rather than in the sea. What’s that about?” exclaims G (54). 

So, how do my colleagues actually spend their mandatory two- to three-week holiday? The younger cohort hang out on public beaches and visit local towns, while the mums and dads in the group take their kids for swimming lessons or “bagno hop” to visit friends whose families have an ombrellone for a set duration.

In the end, there’s no real escape from the bagno.

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